“Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly” – Do you think the Bard was too bitter when he wrote these lines in his comedy, As You Like It? Well, can you really blame him? All of us have been hurt by fake friends. They come into our lives like a boon and leave as a bane. Loneliness can be pretty daunting if you do not enjoy your own company. But think about it, can you really laugh with people who have been the cause of your tears in the past? Wouldn’t you be better off on your own?
Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely… learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it…but never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.” – This quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love” speaks to me at a spiritual level. How many times have you gone to a party on a Friday night just to avoid the emptiness of your apartment? Have you not agreed to spend the weekend with a bunch of fake friends just because you wanted to be “accepted”? Have you not done something you completely hate out of peer pressure?
It is okay to have succumbed to such impulses. With time you will learn that it is not necessary to be surrounded by people all the time, especially fake ones. You need to curate your friend circle meticulously. Like you curate your Instagram feed or Facebook status updates. Being alone does not mean you will feel lonely, be your own best friend.
Do you have a tendency to befriend people and trust them with the nitty-gritty of your life? Even though you don’t know them? Well, you are in for trouble, my friend. You cannot trust everyone with your heart, hoping they will protect it. Fake friends wear masks. It would spare us a good share of heartbreaks if they didn’t! Have a handful of people who genuinely care about you and only trust them with your secrets.
Read a book, go on a solo trip or go to the theater alone! Get some coffee at a quaint cafe all by yourself! Trust me, you’ll start loving your own company over fake friends who want to pull you down.